Mothers on stilts and then some

Emily and I just returned from the ARM "MotherLode" Conference (Association for Research on Mothering) in Toronto. It was extraordinary.

First, read this great cover article from Canada's National Post, it's gives a very good feel for the event, and you will recognize some names in it!

Then, look at the delightful Andrea's awesome Flickr slideshow. Be sure to enjoy the photo of us with our dear, beautiful friend DaniGirl, one of our first blog buddies -way back in 2004!- and a truly magical person!

This was one of those moments in time, an experience that will have Emily and me talking for weeks and months to come, and we are so motivated by the many ideas and stories we heard from these talented and brilliant women.

We had the honor of representing MomsRising, and distributing Joan and Kristin's amazing book and documentary, both titled The MotherHood Manifesto. Everyone LOVED them.

On behalf of the Huffington Post, we also made sure the group got copies of Arianna Huffington's book, On Becoming Fearless. The conference attendees loved that too.

Some of the other bright moments:

Ann Crittenden is a fantastic and mind-blowingly effective speaker, and I am going out today to buy her latest book, If You've Raised Kids, You Can Manage Anything.  She also likes falafel, which we had great fun buying in a hole-in-the-wall downtown Toronto falafel shop. Not only that, Emily and Ann had the unique experience of being partners in an "acting" exercise (that none of us in this particular session knew was coming!)designed to prepare mothers to speak out to lawmakers and press on advocacy issues. The exercises included staring into your partner's eyes in a meaningful way; breathing deeply; and grunting. That was one experience for the books, that's for sure! Everyone had a good chuckle over it too. My partner was a newspaper reporter who looked like she wanted to die. "I am just here to cover the story!" she kept saying.    

Beth Osnes from Mothers Acting Up was the person conducting the "acting" seminar, and this is one person to keep your eyes on, not just because she launches surprise acting classes on unsuspecting conference-goers. She and her group are leading a charge to raise awareness of issues affecting children, and to get attention she has organized parades with mothers on stilts wearing suffragette costumes; filled school buses with moms and children for trips to state capitols; and writes press releases for just about everything she does, which gets her group LOTs of coverage. She is a remarkable woman, and we encourage you to visit her site, find out what you can do, and buy their very cool calendar. I got one, and it is wonderful.  Beth is a very powerful public speaker, by the way, if you are ever looking for speakers.

Debra Levy and Joanne Brundage of Mothers and More conducted a valuable session on mothers and advocacy. It was so informative, and it was especially exciting to meet up with Debra. She has helped with the Pennsylvania campaign in such amazing and significant ways. She is a very special, smart person and it was a delight to meet her. I also encourage all of you to read up on the history of Mothers and More and the inspiring leadership of Joanne.

Another great honor was meeting Judith Stadtman Tucker of Mothers Movement Online. Judy has been an incredible resource for us in the Pennsylvania campaign, and she has also become someone I value as an adviser. She is one of the wisest women out there, a guru, and I am eager for our next brainstorming session. 

I am so excited that we also got to meet Amy Tiemann, of Mojo Mom. Wow, she is another incredible woman. Amy said that she has a retreat center and mother activists need to meet there soon. I completely agree. Hey, Amy - when? Sign us up!

The lovely and oh so smart Jen from MUBAR was on a very compelling panel on mom bloggers. It was the best panel on the subject I have ever seen. If we could have, I think the group would have stayed all night - the discussion was that good. The panel included:

The thoughtful and very well prepared Andrea from Beanie Baby and The Whole Mom 

Sweet, right-on-the-mark Dani, from Postcards from the Mothership

The very smart, insightful  Ann Douglas

And Marla from Hello Josephine who had some of the best quotes in her remarks that I have ever heard.

In the audience and contributing to a tremendously powerful and productive Q & A session was:

Catherine, from Her Bad Mother

Andi Buchanan from MotherShock and Mother Talk, who was on several panels at the conference

Nadine from Blogging Baby and Martinis for Milk and

Andrea (a fellow DotMom!)

Whew. What a conference! Andrea O'Reilly and Renee Knapp from ARM did a fantastic job. I hope we get the chance to meet again soon, and I also hope we keep all this exicitng conversation going through the high speed, motherhood neighborhood we share.   

The hour has struck

Emily and I have been talking a lot about the issue of women and the vote the past few days, and I've blogged about it here on Been There and on the Huffington Post. As we said before, 20 million single women did not vote in the 2004 election. That is an astounding number. I just heard an even more unbelievable number. In Pennsylvania, we rank 4th lowest of all states in the number of women who vote, as well as 4th lowest in the number of women who are registered to vote, but do not. (No wonder we have the issues of discrimination against mothers that we do.)  Knowing these statistics, and looking at this almost 100 year old suffrage poster, makes me want to cry.

(The poster was part of an article on the history of suffrage that ran in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette yesterday.)

It took decades of mind numbing, back breaking work on the part of our heroic great-great grandmothers to win the right to vote, and now, decades later, we are squandering their herculean efforts? 

Here is a question to ponder: What can we do as individuals, and as a collective blog force (hey, we know firsthand how effective you guys are) for the next two weeks, to make sure all the women in our lives exercise their precious right and go to the polls on November 7th?

Coming Full Circle

After Andy and I spent years trying to get pregnant and were finally expecting our first daughter, we used to occasionally say to ourselves that we had two angels looking down on us who had helped to choose her soul, Andy's mother Goldie and our close friend Erin, both of whom had died not long before.

It might sound completely hokey, but to us after getting through that incredibly tough time, it was comforting to think of them conspiring to send the child meant for us.

These last few days it has felt like Goldie has been conspiring again. We've just made the most amazing connection and are still feeling kind of misty about it.

Andy works at a technology company and his coworker Joey mentioned to a friend that their software might be helpful to her.

The friend, Kathy Eldon, lost her son Daniel in 1993 when he was killed on assignment as a photographer for Reuters in Somalia. Dan was 22 at the time.

Dan's story has been told in the TNT documentary Dying to Tell The Story, his journals have been published in a volume called The Journey is the Destination, and as I've come to discover, his photography, journals and artwork are incredibly evocative and inspiring.

Andy wanted to do anything he could to help Kathy with the Dan Eldon website and to support the Creative Visions Foundation both of which she started with her daughter Amy to inspire others to lead creative, activist lives.

When Andy learned that Kathy was originally from Cedar Rapids, he figured out that he had met Kathy's parents when he was a kid because Kathy's mother was in the same sewing circle as Andy's grandmother. The older generation of the two families had been close for their entire adult lives.

Andy sent an email to Kathy mentioning the CR connection, and immediately heard back from her, and here's the the part of the story that's amazing.

Kathy wrote to say that, yes, she knew Andy's family, and that she had particularly strong recollections of Goldie, whose stories of living in Africa had inspired Kathy to live and work there herself, not realizing that Goldie was Andy's Mom. She's writing a book, and in it, she talks about the influence of Goldie on her life.

[Andy's Mom and Dad worked in Africa when Andy and his brother Sam were young and their brother Chuck was born there.]

So it all comes full circle: Kathy was inspired by Goldie to live in Africa, where her children Dan and Amy were born. Dan grew up there and became a photographer, with Africa as the backdrop. He died photographing one of the tragedies of the continent (think Black Hawk Down), and now, as Kathy and Amy work to inspire others through Dan's life, Goldie's son Andy enters the picture to help them do that with his technology.

Doesn't life work in amazing ways sometimes? I'm getting all choked up again just thinking about it.

Otis's Week in Review

Our dog Otis has been so down this week. I mean, very depressed. In fact, he even started to wear this:

Could it have been this commentary from Keith Olbermann that got to him?

Otis might have the weight of the world on his mind, but, true to his terrier nature, I was happy this morning to see that, at least in Pennsylvania, he knows we can send a big, huge message to the rest of the country - and fire some of the people who have gotten us to this terrible place. As sweet natured as he is, Otis obviously has a strong opinion about our soon to be ex-senator:

What a good dog.

Hit & Run

This morning, on the way to school, just in front of me, an accident happened at a traffic light, with one car hitting the side of another. I didn't see the collision, but sat through a couple of green lights as people figured out how to go around it.

As I was about to make my way through the intersection, the car that was hit pulled over to the side of the road, and the other car inolved paused for waited a minute ... and then drove away.

Just kept on driving as though nothing had happened.

And there I was right behind it. I pulled up along side to ask the person if they were going to turn around, but she ignored me.

So I called 911. First time ever. I reported the details, the license number, color of car, etc., was transferred to the local police and reported it all again. They were incredibly effusive in their appreciation, saying thanks over and over (don't people call in hit & runs?).

But here's the part that's nagging at me. The woman behind the wheel looked to be in her eighties, with short white hair and a bit of a slouch. Maybe someone younger would leave the scene of an accident, but an elderly woman? I'm thinking she might not be all there mentally, and didn't even realize what she had done, in which case she certainly shouldn't be on the road, but what's next for her? What must she and her family be going through right now?

The police probably have tracked her down, and if she has cognitive issues, her family is being called in, and some big conversations are taking place.

I know if it was my mother in a hit & run, the burden would fall on me and my brothers to figure out what to do next -- to take away the car, to decide what other limitations or oversight are needed, to care for her as she adjusts to the changes.

Nobody was hurt in the accident, but I'm thinking that a family is struggling today as it faces a new reality in their lives.

Intellectual Devotional - First Printing Sold Out!

Last week I wrote about how excited I was to get a copy of my friend David Kidder's book, the Intellectual Devotional, which Andy and I love.

Yesterday I talked with David about the HUGE response his book is getting.

Get this. In less than a week, the entire first run of 35,000 sold out and now the publishers are madly printing something like 95,000 more books.

Here's what he said,

I think your readers at Been There had something to do with this. After Noah and I were on The Today Show, we went to #1 on Barnes & Noble and #2 on Amazon, but after a few days, we drifted into the top 25. Then your piece hit and we climbed higher again.

He's being the great guy he is, but wouldn't it be just too cool if you all had something to do with his amazing success? He hasn't even started the real PR effort, which won't get going until the next printing lands in bookstores in a few days or so.

To everyone who went straight to B&N, Amazon or your local bookstore and bought his book, David says a great big thank you!

From photo to billboard in 60 seconds

If you want to see all the work that goes into creating the picture-perfect advertising photos of women, this 60- second clip is mesmerizing.

Making 20 Million Non-Voters into Voters

In the last presidential election the largest block of non-voters was single women - 20 million of them. In a new, awesome PSA campaign, some of the country's top actresses talk about their "first time," voting, that is. The point of the spots is to encourage single women who did not vote in past elections to vote on November 7th.

I have a post up right now on Huffington Post about this campaign, created by WomensVoices, WomensVote and filmmaker Julie Bergman, that includes more information on the campaign and a link to these magnificent PSAs.

Put these PSAs on your blog, tell your friends, and spread the word. Odds are a single woman who did not vote before will vote this time because she hears you.

Joan Blades and the Women's Media Center

Cooper has a post up on MomsRising and The Huffington Post on Joan Blades' visit to New York to address the Women's Media Center. It was a hugely great event, which I live blogged to Cooper (aint technology wonderful?). Here's how she kicks off the piece:

If your ears are buzzing, it is because Joan Blades just wrapped up a presentation in New York at the Women's Media Center, and she was talking about how wonderful all of you engaged mothers are.

Emily McKhann, my business partner, and the ad hoc MomsRising on-the-ground reporter, was also there. Part of the discussion included Emily and Joan sharing with the group the Pennsylvania story and the progress that is being made there.

Here are some of Emily's "Treo" dispatches from the event: "In a packed conference room at the Women's Media Center headquarters in the Empire State Building, Carol Jenkins, acting president of the Women's Media Center, introduced Joan by saying, 'I was lucky enough to meet Joan at her home in California. We had a meeting Joan-style, by walking. And in Berkeley there are a lot of hills, all of them going up -- just like Joan. She just keeps going higher with her efforts to change the landscape.'"

Wow. How cool is that introduction? Joan showed a six-minute clip of the MotherHood Manifesto film during the luncheon, which Emily said the group loved.

By all means, please go either to MomsRising or The Huffington Post to read more!

The Intellectual Devotional

Don't you just love when friends do totally cool things?!

I remember a year or so ago when a friend of ours, David Kidder, told us about a book he was working on and thinking, what a completely original and brilliant idea. Today I got a package from Amazon with my very own copy of the book, which of course I ordered ages ago to do my small part to gin up advance sales, and it's really just the coolest thing. David and his co-author Noah Oppenheim have totally lived up to the idea's promise.

Their book is called The Intellectual Devotional, and it takes from the idea of daily devotionals, but instead of bite-size snippets for spiritual reflection, they've given us daily doses of knowledge, in page-length morsels.

On Monday you get history, Tuesday it's literature, then visual arts (Wednesday), science (Thursday), music (Friday), philosophy (Saturday), and religion (on, no surprise given the devotional bent, Sunday).

Their subtitle is "Revive Your Mind, Complete Your Education and Roam Confidently with the Cultured Class." Great, right?

The mixture of subjects is hilarious and fascinating, whether it's "Madame Bovary", "Harmony", "The Placebo Effect" or "Sleep". You might already know that babies spend half the night in REM sleep (wait, babies sleep half the night?), but did you know that while cows can sleep standing up, they can only dream lying down? Or that the color of placebo pills can effect the outcome of a study? This is important stuff!

Really, it's impossible to put down. One page per day for 365 days -- the hardest part might be sticking to the 'devotional' element, and not just reading it through for the fun of it.

David and Noah have been getting some great press. Here's their blurb in Newsweek. On the same page you'll find a link to their interview on the Today Show which went out and asked people on the street questions on basic knowledge and their answers are, of course, quite funny.

I'm so pleased for them, and invite everyone to help The Intellectual Devotional climb the charts! Here's the link on Amazon.