been there

Have a magical time of year

Happy Holidays from Been There! See you in 2008!

Jamie Lynn Spears and My Open Letter to Nickelodeon and The Disney Channel

Originally posted on The Huffington Post:

Today, when my kids arrive home from school, I predict the first thing they will want to talk about is the fact that Zoey 101 is going to have a baby.

And then the questions will start. "Mom, isn't she in like 9th grade?" "Mom, Jamie Lynn Spears isn't married." "Mom, how can a kid have a baby?"

Spears and her mother selling the news of the impending pregnancy to a magazine in the first place explains so much in terms of the whole family's excruciating emotional and psychological issues. And while the Spears family most definitely should crawl back to their trailer park and stay there, the broader implications of their public behavior does affect us, especially our young daughters and sons.

My children span from ages 10 to three, so we haven't had the birds and bees talk -- yet. But it feels like that time is quickly approaching, if not here.

Thanks, Nick.

The kids at our elementary school -- like kids everywhere -- soak up every piece of information they hear about Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Lynn Spears and all the other characters that prance around on the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. For starters, how can they miss the magazines in the check out lines? They are placed at kids' exact eye level.

Most of that information my kids hear about the shows' stars involves naked pictures on the internet, drugs, obnoxious behavior and now a very public pregnancy which will no doubt be plastered everywhere (just wait till they sell the baby pics.)

Nick and Disney Channel, what is going on? (Taking a look at Jamie Lynn Spears' website just now is so sad and laughable at the same time. Pure innocence. What a joke.)

The programming on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel often includes children and teens who are rude, disrespectful, untrustworthy and mean (just try to get through five minutes of Suite Life of Zack and Cody without being disgusted) -- and the off-air, public actions of many of the networks' stars is worse.

Our kids grow up so fast, it is painful that they learn so much about adult things in elementary school and you, Disney Channel and Nickelodeon (even if we don't watch you) are putting people and messages out there that are harmful. You own some responsibility here. The question is, what are you going to do about it?

The Massachusetts Conference for Women

Wow. What an incredible day. The Massachusetts Conference for Women - 6,000 women strong - was an amazing experience.

I had the honor of participating on the "Embracing the Chaos" panel with Robyn Gilmartin, Dr. Adrianne Ahern and Dr. Lori Long. It was a great discussion and I was so blown away by the speakers and by the audience, especially the way, during the Q & A, the audience worked together on finding solutions to "chaos" issues other participants raised.

The speakers were truly impressive and the world class team that puts the conference together is phenomenal.

Emily and I created a group on The Motherhood to support the conference, with links to speakers' websites and books, as well as a discussion board. Check it out. There are many interesting links there, you don't need to be from Massachusetts to benefit.
I hope people use it, it will be so cool to see the discussions from the day continue on in cyberspace.

And *BONUS* I got to meet someone I have wanted to meet - and have been a huge fan of -- for a long time: Courtney E. Martin! She is as wonderful and brilliant as I imagined.

Sera Bonds and Circle of Health International

Sera Bonds is a woman who cares. Big Time. Three years ago, Sera founded Circle of Health International to provide health services to women in areas of conflict and disaster. One woman, an idea, some training, and a mission, and she's saving the lives of women around the world.

I talked to Sera yesterday. She's been traveling the country raising money for the programs she runs. It's been a long couple of weeks and she's ready to get back to what she knows best, training healthcare workers in remote parts of the world.

We've successfully trained 55 midwives and doctors in Tibet in emergency obstetrics. The Tibetan government accepts our training and materials and has asked us to extend our program into other areas.

One trained midwife in a village can vastly improve the lives of the entire community. From the Circle of Health International's website is this story from Tibet -

It’s a cold autumn evening, and you've just put your young children to bed. The fire in the stove is warm, and a pot full of yah butter tea is boiling on the stove. There is a rushed knock at your door. It is a husband of a woman in the next village that you visited a few months back, she is in labor. He thinks she has been laboring, "too long, will you come?" You tell your husband of the news, poor a thermos of tea, wrap yourself in your thick woolen coat, and join the worried husband on the back of a borrowed motorbike.

As you ride through the valley, you wonder how this birth will go? The last time you attended a women in this village, the baby was dead when you arrived. You did what you could for the mother, but you know that sadness like that does not go away. BUMP! The motorbike slid out from underneath you as you drove through one of the many mountain streams you have to cross. Oh well, you both pick yourselves up, no harm was done to you or the bike, and you both climb back on. As you settle into the seat behind the anxious husband. You place one arm behind you gripping the steel bar for balance, as your other arm hangs down at your side. In your loose hand, you hold your Mala (Buddhist prayer beads), sliding one bead at a time between your forefinger and your thumb, you pray: may this birth be joyful, may she be free of pain.

The woman in the story ends up giving birth to a health baby because she receives the care she needs; what's clear, though, by the end of the story is how uncertain the survival is of every pregnant woman and her unborn child.

If you own a newer Mac, you want to know this

Maybe you know this already, but Andy told me about it the other day and I didn't actually believe him until I saw this website ... http://www.dubster.com/iseeyou/

Here's the thing ... if you have a newer Mac computer, anyone online can log in to see you through your camera. Check out the site and you'll see yourself through the web.

Freaky. I just put masking tape over the lens.

Twenty Five Days to Make a Difference

In honor of her grandfather, a ten-year-old girl named Laura is spending the month of December doing something every day to make the world a better place. She's created a blog called Twenty Five Days to Make a Difference and already has almost 2,000 page views.

In the first two days of December, she has shoveled snow for her neighbors and recycled cans to raise money for Suneel's Light.

She has a badge contest that ends on Wednesday.

Laura is encouraging other kids (and grown-ups) to get involved, and is giving away $25 to the kid who makes the most inspiring difference. Cooper and I are going to tell Laura that we'll match her prize money for the winner. Roger Carr and Laura, Gabrielle, and Laurie of Sk*rt have matched donations too. Jen Lemen (thanks for the heads up on this) is donating one of her Today is a New Day posters.

Here are some of Laura's suggestions for making a difference each day:

1. Shovel snow for a neighbor who is elderly or busy.
2. Make cookies and cards to take to a local retirement home.
3. Go through your old toys or clothes and donate them to local places who might want them.
4. Donate old books to your library. Ours is in need!
5. Donate your time to your local SPCA.
6. Spend some time visiting with an elderly neighbor who may like your company.
7. Give free rice to hungry people by playing a word game.
8. Getting a laptop? Give one too.
9. Pick up litter in your neighborhood.
10. Take the bus, instead of driving, like my dad does.
11. Walk to school.
12. Donate new toys, food, books to sick kids or to those who can’t afford them.
13. Start a fundraiser.
14. Write a letter to someone you love, and tell them how much you appreciate them.
15. Learn how to go green.
(There are others ...)

If you want to join Laura's campaign, blog about it, email her and she'll include you on her blogroll.

Thanks, Laura, for your new and wonderful celebration of the spirit of the season.