been there

4000

Today I opened the paper to see the photos of 1000 Americans killed in Iraq, bringing the total to 4000 who have died there. I am so saddened by their happy, open, energetic faces. Here are two pieces written by lost soldiers that particularly got me:

Daniel E. Gomez, an Army combat medic, fell in love with Katy Broom, his sister’s close friend, through email and then all over again in person while home on break.

Here's the "just in case" letter Daniel gave to Katy before leaving to head back to Iraq -

Hey baby. If you’re reading this, then something has happen to me and I am sorry. I promised you I would come back to you, but I guess it was a promise I could not keep. You know I never believe in writing “death letters.” I knew if I left one for my folks it would scare them. Then I met you. We were supposed to meet, darling. I needed someone to make me smile, someone that was an old romantic like I was. I was going through a very rough time in Iraq and I was startin to doubt my mental state. Then one day after a patrol, I go to my facebook and there you were...

I can’t stop crying while I writing this letter, but I have to talk to you one last time, because maybe the last time I heard your voice I did not know it would be the last time I heard your voice....

I Love You. Go be happy, go raise a family. Teach your kids right from wrong, and have faith, darling. I think I knew I loved you even before I met. I love you, Katy. * Kiss * Goodbye

Ryan Hill wrote this on his Myspace page on Nov. 1, 2006 -

I try not to cry. I have never cried this much my entire life. two great men got taken from us way too soon. i wonder why it was them in not me. I sit here right now wondering why did they go to the gates of heaven n not me. I try everynight count my blessing that I made it another day but why are we in this hell over here? why? i cant stop askin why?

I'm so very sad for all the mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, sons, daughters, boyfriends, girlfriends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends who have lost people they dearly love. Brave soldiers all.

Please, can't we bring them home?

Abercrombie and lessons in critical thinking

This weekend I took my soon-to-be-11 year old daughter shopping for her birthday. The only thing on her list this year was a trip to Abercrombie and it was in a way a shopping trip to pre-pubescence, teenagerhood and adulthood all in one -- an adventure out of Old Navy/Gap Kids/Children's Place-land and into a world we've not ventured through before.

Yes, this was on the wall:

I am really excited to watch my daughter grow up and learn about the world and test out being big. And it wasn't necessarily the baby-ish stud/vixen images all over (although, really, what's that about!?!?!) that unnerved me the most about Abercrombie. What made me itchy about the place were two things: the bleach blonde, orange tanned, unable to form sentences young teens who worked there (the future of our society!) and these:

(Notice a difference between these "kids" t-shirts? Remember, this is the company that once produced t-shirts for young girls that read: "With These Who Needs Brains". Obviously no lessons learned.)

BOY SHIRTS:

GIRL SHIRTS:

For one, boys, it seems, get stared at and have a line of ladies no matter what, while girls need their hair and eyes to make them worthy, and passive.

I was processing these t-shirts with this additional piece of information I learned at TED: the number one gift to girls graduating high school last year was breast augmentation. Yep, great start for the future of our society.

So, here she is, on the brink of puberty, and our daughter sees so many different messages and images every, single day (be sure to click on that link and watch the video - awesome.) The world isn't going to change, but I'm hoping if she can process all of this junk as a critical thinker she'll be just fine. I keep thinking of the Abercrombie girlcott (started by a group of Pittsburgh girls - yeah!) from a while back and am reminded that there's hope, commitment, energy and lots of brain power out there dedicated to positive, empowering messages for girls -- and for boys, for that matter.

TED@Aspen

Last week Emily and I had a life changing experience. We attended the TED Conference in Aspen. It is so hard to describe how profoundly moving, inspiring and incredible the four days were. When our favorite TED Talks from the '08 conference are up on the TED site, we'll put them up here and on The Motherhood, and we can talk about them together. One thing is for sure, we need to get our boots on ladies, because it is up to us to change the world.

Here we are solving world problems:

Photo: Michael Brands/Aspen Institute

And here's us registering - can you tell we're so nervous and excited!

I think Emily agrees with me, that after TED we'll never be the same again. Not only were the speakers amazing, the conference attendees were the most fabulous, creative, brilliant DO-ERS! I'm so inspired by the whole, awesome thing and I can't wait to share with you our most favorite speakers - they will blow your mind.