Birthdays without pressure?

Birthday parties have been a hot button topic for a few years now, and I am sure you often find them exhausting (and overwhelming) like I do - not just to host, but to attend, too.

Check out this new website and its blog called Birthdays Without Pressure.org.

From the website:

What's out of control about birthday parties today?

Party costs are skyrocketing.
The number of children exceeds what many parents can handle.
Children are getting too many presents that cost too much money.
Gift bags contain more and more junk.
Kids get over-stimulated and difficult to manage.
Themes and venues have to be cooler and better each year.
Birthday celebrations are turning into “party weeks” with several parties: family, friends, and school.
Being on the “party circuit” is stressing families’ schedules and budgets.
There is pressure to make parties perfect, original, and enriching—a once in a lifetime experience every year.

Some of the commenters, as you can guess since this is one of THOSE topics we all have opinions on and experiences with, are starting to get a bit unproductive and snarky, unfortunately, but many of them offer some good insight, too. For example:

As I prepared the budget for 2007 for my family, I looked at prior expenditures from 2006 and 2005 and the average expenses for the category "gifts given", which does not include Christmas was $2,800 per year. Of this, over $600 per year was for my 2 little children attending approx. 40 other children's (i.e. classmates, neighbors, mom's club, etc...) birthday parties that they get invited to each year. My children also have birthday and christmas parties with other children attending and there is a separate party for children and the family, so in a matter of two weeks for two children, we have at least 4 birthday parties for the 2 kids. I have had nummerous disagreements with my spouse over the money, time, multiple parties and sheer number of gifts that show up. These parties have gift bags, fancy cakes, themes, etc.. I do not want my children to grow up thinking "what do I get now" and expecting a gift everytime they hear "party". It is hurting my budget, my kids' expections and perpetuates the "have to keep up with the Jones' mentality. I am sharing this site with my spouse and hopefully that will help in my discussions about all of this focus on parties, gifts and needless spending.

Ugh. With four kids, I don't even want to think about adding up our yearly birthday party-related expenses. But, at the end of that party, you gotta admit, you see their big smiles and it's all worth it.

Comments

[Cynthia Samuels]

It's often possible to enlist a core of parents to back off together. If a whole "crowd" is returning to sleep overs with popcorn fights or arts and crafts projects at the kitchen table the rest may join in. NOT always, but it might be worth a try. I also think schools should help to discourage this.

[BeachMama]

My Sister and I were just discussing this a couple of days ago. Our kids will be starting Kindergarten next year and we were wondering how to deal with all the parties that usually follow. Our only saving grace could be that the boys birthdays are in August, prime vacation time :). (We also limit the gift to $10 when we go to the neighbours, etc.)

[PunditMom]

Wow! I'm impressed that you budget ahead for the whole year! Now, THAT'S organization!

As for the party thing -- don't get me started!

[Cara Fletcher]

I find it very difficult when thinking of themes for the birthdays of my son.I want everything to be perfect and themes are part of the party.