The MotherHood.com Re-launch

Emily and I are so proud and excited to announce that our site, The Motherhood will appear next week entirely new, significantly improved and very, very special.

For the last year we have been working so hard with our brilliant team of technical wizards to realize the dream we've had for so long. Finally it is here. And it really great, in our honest opinion!

Look here for more details over the next week. Stay tuned!

We can't wait to see you there.

Anna Quindlen

I'm an huge fan of Anna Quindlen who writes a bi-weekly column for Newsweek. When the magazine arrives, I immediately turn to last page (and am always disappointed on the weeks it's George Will writing and not her) and as I walk into the house, balancing the mail, my purse, and all the stuff I grabbed from the back seat of the car, I start reading. She's a mom first and always, and gets right to the heart of whatever's going on in our world or hers.

So, I thought I'd share a handful of my favorites -

Home Cooking
Sending the kids off to college is one rite of passage. But it's when they finally leave for real that the biggest breach begins.
First paragraph: The other day my son cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner, all in a single frying pan. Scrambled eggs, grilled cheese, shell steak. That last required my assistance, a shorthand recipe typed into my handheld in the middle of a drowsy late-day meeting. "High heat," it began. An hour later the meeting was still going on and a return message arrived: "Thanks for the help."

Good Boy, Beau. Stay.
Put a pork roast in the oven, and the guy still breathes as audibly as an obscene caller. The eyes and ears are gone, but the nose is eternal.
First paragraph: I am that most pathetic of human creatures, a human who walks into a veterinarian's office without an animal. "Beau?" the woman behind the desk calls, and I rise. Dr. Brown ushers me back into an examining room kitted out with a bottle of preserved heartworms, and sends me off with a prescription refill and the promise of a house call when necessary. The house call will be for the purpose of euthanasia, but neither of us says the word.

Everyday Equality
Each of us rose on the shoulders of women who had come before us. Move up, reach down: that was the motto of those worth knowing.
First paragraphs: I came to feminism the way some people come to social movements in their early years: out of self-interest. As a teenager, I was outspoken and outraged, which paired with a skirt was once considered arrogance. When I was expelled from convent school I was furious. Now I am more understanding. Would you have wanted to be the nun teaching me typing?

I got on the equality bandwagon because I was a young woman with a streak of ambition a mile wide, and without a change in the atmosphere I thought I was going to wind up living a life that would make me crazy. As my father said not long ago, "Can you imagine what it would have been like if you had been born 50 years earlier? Your life would have been miserable."

THE GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER
Forget about day camp of mandatory gymboree. What's the point of raising kids if we don't have a good time and a few laughs?
First paragraphs: There was a kind of carelessness to my childhood. I wandered away from time to time, rode my bike too far from home, took the trolley to nowhere in particular and back again. If you had asked my mother at any given time where I was, she would likely have paused from spooning Gerber's peas into a baby's mouth or ironing our school uniforms and replied, "She's around here somewhere."

By the new standards of mothering, my mother was a bust. Given the number of times I got lost when I was young, she might even be termed neglectful. There's only one problem with that conclusion. It's dead wrong. My mother was great at what she did. Don't misunderstand: she didn't sit on the floor and help us build with our Erector sets, didn't haul us from skating rink to piano lessons. She couldn't even drive. But where she was always felt like a safe place.

I'll Never Stop Saying Maria
Swimming underwater at 2, jumping off the diving board at 3, barreling off a cliff into the Caribbean at 5 -- that's my wild, brave girl
First paragraph: Sixteen years ago something unexpected happened: I became the mother of a daughter. Our assumptions about the unlikelihood of this had a weird logic, my husband the eldest in a family of six boys, our first two children sons. Third time around I looked exactly the same (enormous), and my habitual nausea had given way to my habitual urge to eat anything with salt or sugar and most of what lay in between. Which explains why, when our doctor said, "A little girl," I upended that newborn right there in the birthing bed and double-checked.

And this week's piece - a must-read:
This Is Important
The country is in a mess. Do not be distracted by the gossip, nonsense or lies. The time to really focus on the facts is now.
First paragraph: Today is the first day of the rest of this presidential election. Pay close attention. Do not get sidetracked. This is a message to myself. I, too, got snookered by small-bore bickering and secondary ephemera. I sat in front of the television and listened as so-called surrogates for the candidates played gotcha with obfuscation, misdirection and outright lies. A presidential election is a game now, and we're not playing, we're getting played. With very few exceptions—hats off to you, David Gergen—nothing being said has much to do with the future of this country or the well-being of its citizens. As a wise woman said to me the other day, talking points and talking are two very different things.

We Feel Fine

From Jen Lemen, check out this incredible TED talk by Jonathan Harris and his website, called We Feel Fine, that takes the feelings people are expressing around the globe and maps them graphically.

The bailouts

As our financial behemoths melt down, and the government swoops in with huge bailouts, we need to see some reasonable parameters put in place. Tom Evslin's set of rules for brokerages, banks and insurance companies make a ton of sense to me (thank you Fred Wilson for the link) -

Rule #1: Cut salaries now

Part of the bailout bill ought to be that any organization which proffers securities for government purchase must agree not to pay any employee or contactor more than $1 million per year for the next four years. No cheating with trips to events on the corporate jet or other perks with draconian penalties TO THE RECIPIENT for violations.

Rule #2: No new golden parachutes

Some executives have contracts which entitle them to huge golden parachutes – especially if their pay is cut. These need to be annulled.

Rule #3: End payment on old golden parachutes

Payments on existing golden parachutes should be stopped.

Rule #4: No dividends for a year

This seems harsh to us shareholders who may have bank securities in our portfolio, but it's not. Clearly an organization which is being bailed out needs to conserve cash to survive.

Smart, right? Drop a line to your Congressman or Senator letting them know your thoughts on this. They're making these decisions right now and hearing from us can make a BIG difference.

Girlfriends

It's a crazy busy time of year, what with the kids going back to school (another parent-teacher evening please?) and the intensity of getting ready to relaunch The Motherhood, so my lunch in the city yesterday was a bright shining oasis.

The occasion was my friend Jacque's 60th birthday, and it was a fun, hilarious, wonderful celebration, the gist of which was-

It's all about our girlfriends, girls.

Twelve of us were there to celebrate Jacque's big day - some had known her forever, some for 10 or 15 years and some like me who are newer friends. We were told not to bring presents, just be prepared to say a few words. And so we talked. The stories were brought-tears-to-my-eyes funny, and moving, and all about being there for each other through thick and thin. As one friend said, "everyone's saying the kinds of things that don't usually get said until there's a funeral."

We kept coming back to Jacque's great capacity for friendship and how much that mattered when the big stuff in life showed up. Many talked about Jacque being the friend they needed when they really needed one. And Jacque told great stories, saying the same about them.

After an amazing couple of hours with these wonderful women, I floated out of the party, found my way back to my real, day-to-day life, and here's what I've been thinking about since -

- When life unfolds as it does - with good times, sadness, struggles and whatnot - our girlfriends hold onto the memories with us. All those times we talk things through together, help each other through the day, figure out what we're learning along the way, and laugh of course, we're creating this great stash of goodness that layers in the meaning now and later on.

- I lovelovelove my girlfriends but I wish I had and made more time for them. I've been beating myself up about this because I want to be a better friend and I'm tired of putting inconsequential things first. What's with all the busy-ness? So, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. I'm going to reach out to a friend each day (and not feel guilty about taking the time for me and them). I'll keep you posted, but as I said, I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I'm feeling a shift coming on.

- When it comes to hanging with my girlfriends, if the choice is between a big bash or getting together for some great converation, hands down, I'll take the bonding. Throw in some champagne, good food and a beautiful setting, and we're set.

- Having girlfriends who are are both older and younger might just be the key to staying young.

- And as a side note from the party, if you want to kick off a conversation with a group of people, ask everyone to say something about their name. You'll get a great mix of personal histories, and if they don't all know each other before, after hearing the stories, everyone's names will be cemented in their brains.

Happy, happy birthday, Jacque, my friend! It was wonderful to celebrate with you and I look forward to many more!!!